At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

In the recent years, world population is rising with increasing number of young people; even though, older people is decreasing

Accept space

I believe

Accept space

it would be

positive development

Suggestion

a positive development

because older people are less effective for the

countries

Suggestion

country's

countries'

economical progress than young adults.

This

essay will be explained how the benefit of having more younger people will outweigh the on compared to have older people economically and globally. There

are

Suggestion

a plethora of positive things for the increment of young people

for

Suggestion

from

any

country

Firstly

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the more younger graduate, the more government will get stronger workforce.If a young adult gets

opportunity

Suggestion

an opportunity

to higher study, they will contribute to

countries

Suggestion

the country's economy

country's economy

economy

after graduating; so they will boost the

economy

of the

country

rapidly.

For example

, researchers from Singapore National University found that 75% of

countries

Suggestion

country's

economic success

depend

Suggestion

depending

on their younger citizen.

Seconly

Suggestion

Secondly

, a young adults are more healthy;

on the contrary

to elder people.They can world 24/7

efficiently which

Accept comma addition

efficiently, which

would boost their salary, as well as, their family life will be comfortable.It is

thus

clear that how important a younger citizens for the development of a

country

On the other hand

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nowadays older people are potentially

burden

Suggestion

burdened

for the society

;

Accept space

;

and there

are

Suggestion

great deal

Suggestion

a great deal

of drawbacks

for

Suggestion

increasing older people in the society.

Firslty

Suggestion

Firstly

, their health condition may worsen day by day;

therefore

, they pass their time in depression and health related problem.

Secondly

, the relatives of older people can be felt anxious all the time about them; albeit some older people contribute to the family or community by giving decisions with their earned experiences as well. So that, they are not as important as younger people who can contribute to the

countries

Suggestion

country's

economy

. In conclusion, despite having the importance in the society decision

maker

Suggestion

making

based on their experience, older people have no effect in

countries

Suggestion

the country's economy

country's economy

a country's economy

economy

. In my opinion, younger generations are

essential

Suggestion

more essential

for the

country

than older people.gg

Submitted by melebau on Fri Feb 21 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large no. of young adults compared with the no. of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled. ​ Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.​

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Buying things on the internet, such asbooks, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think computer games are better for children and they should be allowed to play more of them. Whereas some parents argue that they are harmful to children, both your point of views and your opinion.

Some people think that they can make as much noise as they want, while others think that the amount of noise people make should be strictly controlled.   Discuss both views and include your own opinion and examples.