IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons.

#people #schools #students #pupils #school #term #option #children
It is often said that residential schools are beneficial to offsprings who will be
inhabit
Suggestion
inhabiting
 at the
school camp
Accept comma addition
school, camp
 or resident house (hostel) through the curriculum.
Nonetheless
, the abstract is not entirely straightforward, and opposite views can
also
made
Suggestion
make
 against the perspective.
This
 essay will discuss the proposition with following
concluded
Suggestion
concluding
 view of
writer
Suggestion
the writer
. On the one hand, those who support the children need to be a tenant of
school
 camp,
thus
 will encourage them as more mature and independent that the experience can contribute effectively in a
further
life
. These range from conception about individual
life
 to the social community.
For instance
, students responsible for doing homeworks on time, eat properly, and get up at ideal time of the day distribute to time and self-management which can be essential welcome to their
life
 career. Another argument is highlighted to focus solely on the study with no distracts
such
 as house chores and activities are triggered by same ages.
By contrast
, those who opposed above statement tend to point out that when the children are far away from their parents or family for a while (average 3 months) which might be makes a homesickness for young ages. Especially, they did not have the same experience as being far before or have
isolophobia
.
Example
Suggestion
An example
The example
 can be seen in patient had
mental disorder
Suggestion
a mental disorder
 known as anxiety that my colleagues found out during the
survey which
Accept comma addition
survey, which
 was named ` How did the childhood
life
 affect to adult anxiety? ` The number of patients responded
their
people in general
they
 parents
compeled
force somebody to do something
compelled
 them to go boarding
school
 when
patient
Suggestion
a patient
the patient
patients
 had a fear of being alone and it came down with anxiety after they spent a
years
Suggestion
year
 under
pressure
Suggestion
the pressure
 of bullying and not
impartial interaction
Suggestion
the impartial interaction
an impartial interaction
 of other students. Ultimately, it must be said that giving young ages to boarding
school
 can be
gist
Suggestion
the gist
 of complicated diseases. Overall, it would seem that the decision to send kids to
residentual
used or designed for residence or limited to residences
residential
school
 could be based on their personality and healthiness, rather than on common beliefs that children need to study at
such
school
 among the retroactive perspectives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: