IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that a person’s intelligence is inherited from the parents, while others believe that their environment is the main factor. Discuss these views. Which factor do you think is mostly responsible for intelligence?

#people #person’s #intelligence #parents #environment #factor
The origin of understanding is getting scientists’ attention and continues to be a controversial topic. While I agree that it is inherited from parents, I
also
 believe it comes from their environment. On the one hand, some people think that perception is inherited from the genes of their parents. Several researchers show that awareness of children is influenced by their parents, especially the mother, because many people think that their fathers often genetic personality more.
For example
, if a mother is gifted in music or math, the child may be entitled.
Furthermore
, properly cared for mothers during pregnancy are likely to have a positive effect to the baby’s brain and cognitive ability.
However
,
this
 is only a controversial part of the topic because scientists have not provided any specific evidence.
On the other hand
, others think that the main determinant of human agility is environmental impact.
For instance
, many people find that young children who were exclusively breastfed and had balanced diets which contain certain nutrients, including iodine will grow better than people of the same age.
Furthermore
, if their parent does not have a high IQ, but they are providing a good environment from their early childhood they are usually more knowledge than their peers.
This
 will impact the brain,
thus
 changing children’s thinking and 0
behaviour
Suggestion
Behaviour
.
This
 view is supported by more people because they can see it. In conclusion,
although
 I think genetics is a decide of children’s
perception but
Accept comma addition
perception, but
 I
also
 believe that environmental factors
such
 as a balance diet and effective tutors are needed.
Submitted by congchua169 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!