IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that having a job you love is the key to a happy life. Others think it is more important to have a stable and well-paid job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no doubt that work plays a crucial role in shaping our lives.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that doing a
job
Use synonyms
 you are passionate about leads to happiness, others believe that
job
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 security and a good salary are more important. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion. On the one hand, having a stable and well-paid
job
Use synonyms
 offers financial security, which is essential in today’s world. People who earn a good income can afford a comfortable lifestyle, support their families, and plan for the future.
For instance
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, a person working in a government position may not be passionate about their daily tasks, but the stability and benefits they receive can lead to a stress-free life. In
this
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 sense,
job
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 satisfaction comes from financial peace of mind rather than personal interest.
On the other hand
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, doing a
job
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 you
love
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 can bring a deep sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
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. People who enjoy their work are often more motivated and productive, which can
also
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 lead to long-term success.
For example
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, someone passionate about electrical engineering will likely improve their skills continuously, leading to career advancement and eventually a higher salary.
Moreover
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, when you
love
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 what you do, work does not feel like a burden, and you are more likely to maintain a positive mental state. In my opinion,
although
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 financial stability is important, doing what you
love
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 has a greater impact on long-term happiness. Life is too short to spend most of it doing something you do not enjoy. A
job
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 that brings both passion and income is ideal, but if I had to choose, I would prefer a career I
love
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, even if it means earning slightly less. In conclusion,
while
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 both financial stability and
job
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 passion are important, I believe that working in a field you truly enjoy leads to a more satisfying and meaningful life.

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structure
Add more clear links between points. Use small, direct examples.
content
Explain more on why loving work can bring true happiness, not only money.
language
Check small grammar slips and miss of form.
content
Intro shows topic and stance clearly.
coherence
Good use of sign words like On the one hand and In conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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