The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart provides information about the places where people can
joint
free-time Correct your spelling
join
activity
by three distinct groups: native Fix the agreement mistake
activities
Canadians
, people who migrate in
English-speaking Change preposition
to
countries
and people do
not speak English in other Correct pronoun usage
who do
countries
.
Overall
, it clears
that there is a tendency for Add a missing verb
is clears
Canadians
and new migrants
born in English-speaking to go the
cinema. Change preposition
to the
By contrast
, new migrants
born in other countries
prefer the library to the cinema.
The cinema is the kinds
of leisure activity with the longest Fix the agreement mistake
kind
percentage
of native Canadians
(70%), compared to approximately 65% of migrants
from English-speaking nation
and 50% of Fix the agreement mistake
nations
migrants
from other countries
. The percentage
of the
English-speaking Correct article usage
apply
migrants
is shorter than the proportion of Canadians
5% in the theatre, while
the percentage
of migrants
from non-English-speaking countries
is 10%.
The percentage
of the library experiences an upward trend for non-English-speaking migrants
to
55%, Change preposition
apply
while
the figure for Canadians
and migrant from English-speaking is 37% and 40% respectively. Half the migrants
from non-English-speaking countries
go to the zoo. Additionally
, the proportion of the
Correct article usage
apply
migrants
from English-speaking countries
is longer than the percentage
of Canadians
at the zoo roughly 3%.Submitted by nguyennhancrazy on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canadians, countries, migrants, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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