The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the places visited by different people living in Canada.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart provides information about the places where people can
joint
Correct your spelling
join
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free-time
activity
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activities
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by three distinct groups: native
Canadians
, people who migrate
in
Change preposition
to
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English-speaking
countries
and people
do
Correct pronoun usage
who do
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not speak English in other
countries
.
Overall
, it
clears
Add a missing verb
is clears
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that there is a tendency for
Canadians
and new
migrants
born in English-speaking to go
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
cinema.
By contrast
, new
migrants
born in other
countries
prefer the library to the cinema. The cinema is the
kinds
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kind
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of leisure activity with the longest
percentage
of native
Canadians
(70%), compared to approximately 65% of
migrants
from English-speaking
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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and 50% of
migrants
from other
countries
. The
percentage
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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English-speaking
migrants
is shorter than the proportion of
Canadians
5% in the theatre,
while
the
percentage
of
migrants
from non-English-speaking
countries
is 10%. The
percentage
of the library experiences an upward trend for non-English-speaking
migrants
to
Change preposition
apply
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55%,
while
the figure for
Canadians
and migrant from English-speaking is 37% and 40% respectively. Half the
migrants
from non-English-speaking
countries
go to the zoo.
Additionally
, the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
migrants
from English-speaking
countries
is longer than the
percentage
of
Canadians
at the zoo roughly 3%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words canadians, countries, migrants, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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