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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the data of university female and male
graduates
Use synonyms
 in Canada
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over the period of 16 years from 1992 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, looking
into
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the graph the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of female
graduates
Use synonyms
 in Canada
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 certainly high compared to male
graduates
Use synonyms
 throughout the given span of years.
Firstly
Linking Words
 in the year 1992, female
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a hike of nearly 99,000.
Whereas
Linking Words
, males were slightly lower in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about 71,000.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, both female and male
graduates
Use synonyms
 had an increase in number in the year between 1994 and 1996 (approx. 1, 05,000 and 75,000 respectively).
Moreover
Linking Words
, in1998 both female and male
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a fall in the number.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
finally
Linking Words
 by the period of 2006 female and male
graduates
Use synonyms
 had a steady increase
approx
Change preposition
of approx
show examples
. 1, 48,000 and 98,000 respectively. To summarize,
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
what
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 out
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 graph is the numbers
female
Change preposition
of female
show examples
graduates
Use synonyms
 were higher
consequently
Linking Words
 than male
graduates
Use synonyms
 of universities in Canada for the year 1992 to 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
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