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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#ten #countries #travel #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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GRAPHICS in
THIS
Linking Words
 TEST SHOW us THE TOP TEN
COUNTRIES
Use synonyms
 WITH THE HIGHEST ALLOCATE ON TRAVEL IN 2014. THE display of EXPENDITURE IS BASED ON THE CALCULATION OF US $
TONS
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.
COUNTRIES
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 calculation CONTAINS
CHINA
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 (People's REPUBLIC OF
CHINA
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/PRC), the UNITED STATES, GERMANY, the UNITED KINGDOM, SINGAPORE, SOUTH KOREA, HONG KONG, INDIA, MALAYSIA, TAIWAN (
GOVERNMENT
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 OF
CHINA
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/ ROC).
GRAPH
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 IS USED MULTIPLE OF 20 SCALES WHICH STARTS FROM 0 TO 120. THE
GRAPH
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 SHOWED WITH A HORIZONTAL DISPLAY WHICH IS ACCOMPANIED by THE SEPARATOR LINE IN THE SCALE WITH VALUE 4.
THIS
Linking Words
GRAPH
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 WAS RELATED TO THE SOURCE FROM UNWTO
COUNTRIES
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 WITH THE HIGHEST
COSTUMER
Correct your spelling
CUSTOMER
show examples
CONSUME
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CONSUMPTION
show examples
 ON TRAVEL
2014
Change preposition
IN 2014
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 FALL INTO
CHINA
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. The number one COUNTRY WITH CONCENTRATE 110 US $Billion.
Next
Linking Words
 RATED ACCORDED TO THE UNITED STATES AND GERMANY WITH 85 US $
tons
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, and
also
Linking Words
 followed by the UNITED KINGDOM WITH 55 US $
tons
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, SOUTH KOREA AND HONG KONG WITH 20 US $Billion, INDIA WITH 15 US $
tons
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,
then
Linking Words
 MALAYSIA WITH 12 US $
tons
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. The
LAST
Linking Words
 RATED in
graphic
Correct article usage
the graphic
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 showed by the country
of
Change preposition
apply
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GOVERNMENT
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 OF
CHINA
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 WITH 10 US $
tons
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 consumed. COMPARISON OF DONATE shopper ON TRAVEL
CHINA
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 WITH
GOVERNMENT
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 OF
CHINA
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 CONTAINED 100 US $
tons
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. As the
graph
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show
Change the verb form
shows
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 the customer
EXPEND
Replace the word
expenses
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ON
Change preposition
in
show examples
CHINA
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IS
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 11 TIMES LARGER THAN
GOVERNMENT
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 OF
CHINA
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. THERE ARE 2 STATE
COUNTRIES
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 THAT HAVE THE EQUATION OF SPENDING COSTUMERS each other. Some
COUNTRIES
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 IN ASIA
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 telling us to CONTINUE and DOMINATE the
ALLOCATE
Replace the word
allocated
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 purchaser COMPARED TO OTHER continents. THE
CHINA
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 COUNTRY BECOMES THE BIGGEST SPENDING customer IN 2014.
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CHINA
Change noun form
CHINA'S
show examples
 NEIGHBOURING
COUNTRIES
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, HONG KONG AND
DEMOCRACY
Correct article usage
THE DEMOCRACY
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 OF
CHINA
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 (TAIWAN) ARE INCLUDED IN
LIST
Correct article usage
THE LIST
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. THAT
Linking Words
ALSO
Add a missing verb
IS ALSO
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 RELATED TO
NUMBER
Correct article usage
THE NUMBER
show examples
 OF POPULATIONS WHERE THERE ARE POTENTIALS FOR VERY BIG TRAVELS.
Submitted by agus.adi.sumerta7 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, tons, china, government, graph with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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