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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#ten #countries #travel #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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GRAPHICS in
THIS
Linking Words
 TEST SHOW us THE TOP TEN
COUNTRIES
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 WITH THE HIGHEST ALLOCATE ON TRAVEL IN 2014. THE display of EXPENDITURE IS BASED ON THE CALCULATION OF US $
Billion
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.
COUNTRIES
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 calculation CONTAINS
CHINA
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, the UNITED STATES, GERMANY, the UNITED KINGDOM, SINGAPORE, SOUTH KOREA, HONG KONG, INDIA, MALAYSIA,
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TAIWAN
Correct word choice
and TAIWAN
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.
GRAPH
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 IS USED MULTIPLE OF 20 SCALES WHICH STARTS FROM 0 TO 120. THE
GRAPH
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 SHOWED WITH A HORIZONTAL DISPLAY WHICH IS ACCOMPANIED by THE SEPARATOR LINE IN THE SCALE WITH VALUE 4.
THIS
Linking Words
GRAPH
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 WAS RELATED TO THE SOURCE FROM UNWTO
COUNTRIES
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 WITH THE HIGHEST
COSTUMER
Correct your spelling
CUSTOMER
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CONSUME
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CONSUMPTION
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 ON TRAVEL
2014
Change preposition
IN 2014
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 FALL INTO
CHINA
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. The number one COUNTRY WITH CONCENTRATE 110 US $
Billion
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.
Next
Linking Words
 RATED ACCORDED TO THE UNITED STATES AND GERMANY WITH 85 US $
Billion
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, and
also
Linking Words
 followed by the UNITED KINGDOM WITH 55 US $
Billion
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, SOUTH KOREA AND HONG KONG WITH 20 US $
Billion
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, INDIA WITH 15 US $
Billion
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,
then
Linking Words
 MALAYSIA WITH 12 US $
Billion
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. The
LAST
Linking Words
 RATED in graphic showed by the country of
TAIWAN
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 WITH 10 US $
Billion
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 consumed. COMPARISON OF DONATE
USER
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 ON TRAVEL
CHINA
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 WITH
TAIWAN
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 CONTAINED 100 US $
Billion
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. As the
graph
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show
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shows
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 the
USER
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 EXPEND ON
CHINA
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 IS 11 TIMES LARGER THAN
TAIWAN
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. THERE ARE 2 STATE
COUNTRIES
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 THAT HAVE THE EQUATION OF SPENDING COSTUMERS each other. Some
COUNTRIES
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 IN ASIA
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 telling us to CONTINUE and DOMINATE the
ALLOCATE
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allocated
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USER
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 COMPARED TO OTHER continents. THE
CHINA
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 COUNTRY BECOMES THE BIGGEST SPENDING
USER
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 IN 2014.
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CHINA
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CHINA'S
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 NEIGHBOURING
COUNTRIES
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, HONG KONG AND
TAIWAN
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 ARE INCLUDED IN
LIST
Correct article usage
THE LIST
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. THAT
Linking Words
ALSO
Add a missing verb
IS ALSO
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 RELATED TO
NUMBER
Correct article usage
THE NUMBER
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 OF POPULATIONS WHERE THERE ARE POTENTIALS FOR VERY BIG TRAVELS.
Submitted by agus.adi.sumerta7 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, billion, china, taiwan, graph, user with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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