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Band 7.5

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit
According to some people it is unjust to retired people, belonging to different professions at the same
age
. Certain professions need release at an earlier
age
 compared to others. I agree to
this
 statement as different jobs have different levels of physical parameters and they cannot be measured in the same parameters. On the one hand, few jobs which require extensive physical activity and cause wear and tear of the muscles, exhaust the workers at any earlier
age
.
For instance
, people working in coal mines or farmers doing agriculture having excessive exposure to sunlight are fatigued at an earlier
age
 so need release from job earlier.
on
Suggestion
On
 the other hand, other jobs like teachers and research scientists require wide working experience. The old and the more experienced they are, the more benefits they can provide to the system and government.
Hence
, every job can not be measured with same yardstick, some cause early physical disability and need to retire earlier. There are certain types of work which need early retirement either due to physical limitation of worker or to avoid prolonged exposure to potentially dangerous chemicals and compounds.
For instance
, factories and road construction companies require extensive physical exertion so these people cannot work above 50 years of
age
,
hence
 early retirement would be beneficial to them.
Similarly
, Coal miners are exposed to coal, which is carcinogenic and people working in fields who have exposure to sunlight have the chances to develop skin cancer.
This
 can only be avoided by if they retire at an early
age
. In conclusion, the
age
 of retirement should be adjusted according to the job description of the person and it cannot be the same for every person as it will adversely affect their health and
this
 is the only way government can benefit from the experience of teachers and research scientists.
Submitted by eden2029 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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