Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

While some people argue that children should be promoted to compete, others claim that children should learn how to cooperate to become more successful.
Although
the sense of
competition
is useful in some cases, I believe that cooperating is more valuable for children’s future
life
.
This
essay will discuss both sides of these views with relevant examples. On the one hand, as it is well known that there is endless
competition
between individuals all around the world.
Moreover
,
competition
is not only between people, but
also
between companies. Almost every company tries to be more successful than others.
For instance
, Apple has competed with Samsung for many years.
Furthermore
,
competition
generally provides development. Every company tries to do their best in their sector and struggle to improve their income. Competing
also
influences children. Unfortunately, the education system forces children compete.
For example
, you should enter an exam to enter a university in Turkey. A student should work hard and be more successful than others to enter a university. If he fails, another student will pass him.
Therefore
, students should have a sense of
competition
to achieve their goals.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks of over
competition
Suggestion
the competition
.
For instance
, it makes people more selfish.
In other words
, competing, sometimes let people think about only themselves. These kinds of people take into account only their success and they may do everything to reach their goals.
However
, if we teach our children the importance of co-operating, they will be more successful in their whole
life
. There is no doubt that people always need others to live.
Moreover
, people can do everything in a short time if they work together.
Therefore
, children should learn the importance of teamwork. In
this
way, they could be more successful in their business
life
. In conclusion,
although
competition
is needed to improve children’s success, I firmly believe that the sense of co-operation is more crucial for their entire
life
.
Submitted by 15konak on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: