IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think everyone should be a vegetarian, because we do not need to eat meat to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #meat
Recently, vegetarianism has become commonplace in many parts of the
world
 with increasing
number
Suggestion
numbers
 of people adapting
this
 kind of lifestyle. While I agree that
this
 practice is likely to benefit the
world
 around us, I find it hard to believe that it is a wise choice for an individual to
make
engage in
do
 to stay healthy. There are a number of environmental advantages that make vegetarianism an attractive option for most people. As the population of the
world
 is predicted to increase in the near future, there will be a
great
Suggestion
greater
 demand for meat-based products. In order to cater to the needs of rising population, meat-producers will have to expand their businesses to make room for the cattle which can leave deforestation and loss of habitat for a large number of animals in its wake.
In contrast
, farmers growing vegetables and grains do not necessarily use too much space thanks to the modern methods of agriculture
such
 as
aquaponics
Suggestion
Aquaponics
 and hydroponics.
Also
, growing plants
requires
Suggestion
require
 far less energy and resources than that of raising cattle. Yet, these benefits do little to alleviate the problems the
world
 is facing today. Supporters
of
Suggestion
on
by
 vegetarian way of life argue that plant-based
diet
 may offer numerous health benefits.
However
, in my view, one needs to follow a balanced
diet
 to be in good health. On the face of it, it may seem that
vegetarian
Suggestion
a vegetarian diet
diet
 is a healthier choice as it includes only vegetables, fruits and grains, but these products cannot always provide sufficient amount of protein and iron, much-needed ingredients that human body needs to stay in shape. Apparently, embracing
plant
Suggestion
a plant
-based lifestyle may not necessarily be one-size-fits-all
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
, for it does not take into consideration the biological needs of
human organism
Suggestion
the human organism
. In conclusion, leading a vegetarian life may well minimize the harmful effects on the environment, but humans are much better off having a mixed and varied
diet
.
Submitted by aknalzohid98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: