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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.others say that this would have little effect on public health. That other measure are require. Discuss bothe views.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measure #bothe
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"Every coin has two sides". In today's era of people are more
health
Use synonyms
 conscious than past. Some people claim that the diet and meditation are more significantly help to improve the public
health
Use synonyms
. When, other people
says
Suggestion
say
 sports facilities
such
Linking Words
 as, Cardiovascular, Gym, and Yoga are more effective on public
health
Use synonyms
. In following paragraphs I will discuss both sides of perspective. To start up with
sweatless
Suggestion
 activities which is dietary formulas. In present time, lots of people are strictly
follows
Suggestion
followed
 their diet chart while in their daily food ingredients and
schedule
Use synonyms
. Honestly, It's more reliable, no require to spend extra time in sports club after tired from the work.
Initially
Linking Words
, is hard to follow blindly dietary
schedule
Use synonyms
 on regular meals and
snackes
a light informal meal
snacks
. But It has tremendously
effective
Suggestion
effect
effects
effectively
effected
 on immunity
system
Use synonyms
. It's quite easy to count how many calories goes into the
body
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, count the nutrition facts and calculate would be not exceed 3000 calories a day which is an average calories require for young people every day. By visually people can have it enough amount of proteins and vitamins. On the other sides, energetic sports activities are
ensurly
hormone secreted by the isles of Langerhans in the pancreas; regulates storage of glycogen in the liver and accelerates oxidation of sugar in cells
insulin
deminish
decrease in size, extent, or range
diminish
 our lethargic and stressful daily habits.
Allthough
Suggestion
Although
,
Accept space
,
to
enrolled
Suggestion
enrol
enrolling
 with
sports club
Suggestion
a sports club
, and add up certain time period of our
schedule
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 is tough, but It's boost up our confidence while doing exercises and rise up our respiratory
system
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, swimming is one of the silent and relaxing exercise, while
swim
Suggestion
swimming
into
Suggestion
in
 the pool, people would have
be
Suggestion
been
flight
Suggestion
a flight
 against their
waterphobia
Suggestion
water phobia
 and control over their breathing
system
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Gym and Yoga kinds of physical exercise are helping as
anti aging formula
Suggestion
an anti aging formula
. Being a muscular and flexible
body
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 depicts marvellous personality in
centre
Suggestion
the centre
 of the community.
For Instance
Linking Words
, The famous
body
Use synonyms
builder Mr
Accept comma addition
builder, Mr
 Arnold. He is 72 years old
today but
Accept comma addition
today, but
 as visually looks like 30 years young man. To sum up, It's true that doing sweaty or
sweatless
Suggestion
 exercise would've
be
Suggestion
been
pump
Suggestion
pumped
pumping
 up people's
health
Use synonyms
 and life span.The difference
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 only
on
Suggestion
in
person's choice
Suggestion
a person's choice
 according to their
schedule
Use synonyms
 and punctuality.
However
Linking Words
, I would
prefare
like better; value more highly
prefer
 diet and meditation activities because it's quite practical and fresh up the internal
body
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 violently.
Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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