IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph provides information about the fluctuations
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mortality and mortality rates in New Zealand since 1901 and gives
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
show examples
 till the year 2101.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the period of time from the year 1901, both rates
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experienced a dramatic increase.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the death percentage probably overtake the birth
rate
Use synonyms
 in around 2041 and the large gap between the two levels will be reserved in the later part of
this
Linking Words
 century.
Initially
Linking Words
, in 1901, the birth
rate
Use synonyms
 has been just over 20000. Over the period, it showed a steady increase and reached a peak of around 66000 after 60 years, in 1962. Since
then
Linking Words
 the
rate
Use synonyms
 has fluctuated between 50000 and 60000 and it is expected to drop gradually to around 45000 births by the year 2101.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to the changes with lots of fluctuations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
birth
Correct article usage
the birth
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
, the death
rate
Use synonyms
 stood at around 10000 at the start of
this
Linking Words
 period and showed an increase without any fall since
then
Linking Words
.
This
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 expected to keep increasing significantly between 2021 and 2051 when the
rate
Use synonyms
 will probably level off at approximately 60000, before declining slightly in 2101.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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