The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#information #changes #birth #death #rates #zealand #features #comparisons

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The given line graph provides information about the fluctuations

Change preposition

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mortality and mortality rates in New Zealand since 1901 and gives

prediction

Fix the agreement mistake

predictions

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till the year 2101.

Overall

Linking Words

, in the period of time from the year 1901, both rates

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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experienced a dramatic increase.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the death percentage probably overtake the birth

rate

Use synonyms

in around 2041 and the large gap between the two levels will be reserved in the later part of

this

Linking Words

century.

Initially

Linking Words

, in 1901, the birth

rate

Use synonyms

has been just over 20000. Over the period, it showed a steady increase and reached a peak of around 66000 after 60 years, in 1962. Since

then

Linking Words

the

rate

Use synonyms

has fluctuated between 50000 and 60000 and it is expected to drop gradually to around 45000 births by the year 2101.

In contrast

Linking Words

to the changes with lots of fluctuations

Change preposition

show examples

birth

Correct article usage

the birth

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rate

Use synonyms

, the death

rate

Use synonyms

stood at around 10000 at the start of

this

Linking Words

period and showed an increase without any fall since

then

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

rate

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

expected to keep increasing significantly between 2021 and 2051 when the

rate

Use synonyms

will probably level off at approximately 60000, before declining slightly in 2101.

Submitted by thanhhtuyenn204 on Mon Feb 24 2020

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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

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The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You have recently migrated to another country. Now write this letter to your friend to describe your present life. In your letter say.. When you have moved to this country Why you chose this country How things are now for you

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. Others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are bast at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?