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Band 4

Some people think it is a good idea of all employees to wear a uniform at work.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #idea #employees #uniform #work
Few individuals claim that it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 appropriate concept
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all professionals to incorporate a
dress
 code
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
.
According to
 my perception, I agree with the
aforementione
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 issue to a large extent. My inclination
along with
 justifications are analysed
further
. Justifying personal
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
. The most valid argument is that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 look more professional because
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
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eye catching
Add a hyphen
eye-catching
show examples
as well as
 formed to look at easily recognised and
also
uniform
Correct subject-verb agreement
uniforms
show examples
 better services.
In addition
 to
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 it inculcates discipline at work. Since
Correct article usage
the dress
show examples
dress
Correct article usage
the dress
show examples
 code at
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
unlike
Add a missing verb
is unlike
show examples
 all the fashionable clothes
people
 would wear at work.
Moreover
,
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 Play a crucial role with respect to safety at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. The
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 examples are the nurses, doctors, the police and the firefighters whose
dress
 code attributes safety from
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
Besides
this
 uniforms are walking
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
.
This
 is because staff who
wears
Correct subject-verb agreement
wear
show examples
uniform
 is easily recognised by the customer whenever they go.
On the contrary
, counter argument considered
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 respective claims. The most arguable claim is that becomes
a
Change the article
apply
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dull and monotonous. To justify
people
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to same colour choice
as well as
 similar
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 of
dress
 for frequent usage at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
.
Apart from
this
obstacles
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacle
show examples
 the freedom of choice. By
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 I mean that strict rules and regulations and no option available for
people
. All in all, it can be
finally
 implied that
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of
people
 believe it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
acceptable
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all job holders to wear a
uniform
 at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. As
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 business look more professional;
however
, it becomes dull and monotonous.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing your ideas in a more coherent manner. Ensure that each paragraph connects smoothly to the next and that there is a clear flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame your argument more effectively. Your introduction should clearly state your position and outline the main points you will discuss. The conclusion should summarize your key points and reiterate your stance on the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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