IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, people are using more consumer goods like refrigerator and washing machine. Does this have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #consumer #goods #refrigerator #machine
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, public the use of various home appliances is increasing. In
this
 essay, I plan to look at a number of positive and negative aspects of
this
 phenomenon. First of all,
this
 trend has several advantages, the most essential among which is that
such
 appliances make everyday life easier. Needless to say, at times when society did not have these techniques to do a chore was incredibly harder than today.
For example
, I can remember my grandmother's times when washing dirty clothes was a long ceremony that included a prewash process which
meansputting
Correct your spelling
meant putting
 stuff into the hot water with some cleaning liquids before the main process, and only
then
 the washing by hand.
Hence
,
additionally
, I can point out here the second advantage
that is
 time saved for housekeepers. Obviously, time is the most valuable benefit.
On the contrary
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a number of drawbacks. No doubt, good device has a high price,
hence
 they are not affordable for everyone. To illustrate, it is common for people who have just moved to a new country to buy all the required techniques from second hands.
In addition
, the
devices
 have a trend of breaking down, and repairing them is
also
 expensive.
Moreover
, for those who often need to move from one place to another transportation of big
devices
 is not cheap. Apart from that, there is
also
 the recycling problem of
such
 kinds of
devices
. In my way of viewing,
this
 is a burden for the public
due to
 requiring extra expenses. In conclusion,
although
 refrigerators, washing machines, and other
devices
 become an integral part of many individuals' lives, not everyone can afford to buy them. Repairing and recycling are other issues which need consideration.
Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay introduction briefly outlines the topics to be discussed, providing a clear direction for your readers.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your argument.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, directly address the question's prompt by stating if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa, ensuring a balanced discussion.
task achievement
To enrich your essay, incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points, demonstrating a deeper analysis of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For a better structure, allocate one paragraph to advantages and another to disadvantages, before concluding with your own viewpoint on the overall impact, making your argument clearer.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: