IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, expected old people age is rising. A section of people believes that it leads to negative trend, because of that, the authority and young generation facing many problems. In the below paragraphs, I will discuss each problem and solution before reaching to a logical conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the average expected life is increasing because of the global improvement in the factor of economic, social politics and public health. Despite the positive development old population caused some issues for the state. The most predominant concern is retire people pension expenditure. In the most of the countries people job till the life of 50 and after that they retire, receive pensions and health expenditures. Some countries of the world have declared retired age of a person is 65. If in all countries the maturity of people will be same it could reduce the burden of the authority, because in the life of 55 people are healthy and they can easily work without any physical pain.
Moreover
Linking Words
, overpopulation increases of old people demand housing. As the result of that, properties are becoming expensive and younger people have to face difficulties when they buy the house. To solve
this
Linking Words
 issue state can provide subsidy for young people, it will be easy for them to buy property.
In addition
Linking Words
, they will respect the older generation. In conclusion, while average expected age, increasing is beneficial trend, yet it causes of some problems, that can be solved with the help of government.
Submitted by tejveerbamrah60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: