Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

It is believed that having much money is the major way to achieve

happiness

in life. In the following lines, I will explain the aforementioned sentence

Accept space

and I will suggest other ways to reach

happiness

To begin

with, having much money results in people's

happiness

. Since the affluent have more facilities than any other social level, they could enjoy many technological advancements

Accept space

most of which are exorbitant. These items will facilitate their daily routines and increase their leisure

time

As a result

, they could enjoy their free

time

by conducting their interests which mitigate the strain of their life.

For instance

, as per an article published by The Guardian, Bill Gates resorts to his private helicopter in order to save much

time

which was squandered in commuting. If he had utilized his own car, he would have wasted much

time

in the traffic congestion

Accept space

and he will not enjoy his leisure activities.

Nonetheless

, there are some different ways to achieve

happiness

. One thing is the career progression. As many individuals spend their life at work, they aspire to a promotion which reflects their work efforts;

therefore

this

reward could be

paramount way

Suggestion

a paramount way

the paramount way

paramount ways

to make workers happy.

This

is exemplified by a survey conducted by Google Company in 2019; around 70 % of the company's employees admitted that achieving their

jobs'

Suggestion

job

prospects is

Suggestion

crucial factor in their joy. Not only do the work

promotions lead

Accept comma addition

promotions, lead

happiness

, but

also

practicing sports could contribute in joy.

This

is because the more the individuals exert physical effort, the more they release dopamine hormone, which positively affects the mood.

As a result

, many of them will be happy after finishing their sports. In conclusion,

although

having a lot of money could achieve

happiness

, career progression and doing sports may lead to the same result.

Submitted by aelqasii on Mon Feb 24 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive of a negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.