The graph below shows the percentage of people by age group visiting the cinema at least once per month in one particular country between 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people by age group visiting the cinema at least once per month in one particular country between 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Thanks to advanced technologies, people are able to
work
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remotely
instead
Linking Words
of going to the
office
Use synonyms
, which is said to be solely beneficial for employees. From my viewpoint, I largely disagree with
this
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statement because hybrid working seems to benefit both sides. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages of working from
home
Use synonyms
for workers. The foremost one is that
this
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kind of
work
Use synonyms
is cost-efficient and time-saving. If individuals did not go to the
office
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, they would not necessarily spend hours
traveling
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travelling
show examples
.
Therefore
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, not only may fuel
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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be reduced but they
also
Linking Words
can avoid air pollution or harsh weather
such
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as snow and heavy rain.
Furthermore
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,
home
Use synonyms
is believed to be a comfortable environment, which is likely to fuel personal productivity. It means their
work
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will be completed efficiently, which is
also
Linking Words
good for their managers.
On the other hand
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, employers might take advantage of remote
work
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.
First,
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they can curtail their expenditure on basic commodities served at the
office
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such
Linking Words
as water and electricity;
additionally
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, it is seemingly not desirable to decorate or set up offices elaborately when
office
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workers do their tasks at
home
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.
Hence
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,
operation
Add an article
the operation
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cost of
business
Correct article usage
the business
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is minimized considerably.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, what may become an onerous task for managers is how to supervise their individuals properly. Those are bound to be distracted by various factors at
home
Use synonyms
, which their supervisors are unable to tackle from a distance. Their children and pets are taken as prime examples. Ultimately, companies should have detailed schemes for online supervision before hybrid
work
Use synonyms
implementation. In conclusion, I believe the phenomenon that people do not have to
work
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at the
office
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is primarily positive from both
viewstand
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
and it is of significance for companies to have methods to manage employees online.
Submitted by chungoc2001 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, such".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, office, home with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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