IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

television dominates the free - time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent then from socializing with others. do you agree or disagree?

#television #time #people
Nowadays, The technology is coming
first
 compare with relations. The
use
 of Television, Internet, Gadgets is too high compared to previous decades. Television dominates too many people in their free
time
.
Also
, people makes lazy and apart from that they did not even talking with others. I totally agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, The behaviour of the people are changing of the more
use
 of television in their free
time
.
Furthermore
, sometimes the more
use
 of
this
, will be affecting them from the depression and stress. Many timepieces and reality shows may have great impact on the human's mind too. The effect from
this
 is they get angry most of the
time
 on their family without any reasons.
Secondly
, People do not
use
 their free
time
 for doing any physical activity to burn their fat or energy.
Instead
 of that the waste their
time
 on the television and get obese at the very less
time
. They can
use
 their free
time
 in the gym
also
. So that, they burn calories and
also
 feel fresh from their busy schedule.
Moreover
, Their laziness are decreased by playing any outdoor games. They socialize with everyone and getting touch with them everyday unless they waste their
time
 in any television serial and so on. To conclude, Television dominates free
time
 of too many people, Which I agree surely and from that public get lazy and block them from socializing with others. I completely agree with
this
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: