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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree?

#people #person #culture #practices #customs
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Globalisation has
blured
indistinct or hazy in outline
blurred
 the lines of cultural diversity in these days. Many people believe that when an individual migrate into another
culture
Use synonyms
 they should accept local practices and
customes
money collected under a tariff
customs
costumes
. There will be both for and against arguments in
this
Linking Words
 context. On the one hand, a
person
Use synonyms
 travel to another
counrty
a politically organized body of people under a single government
country
county
 or place
inorder
Suggestion
in order
 to exploit their
culture
Use synonyms
 and customs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the experience we get from these travelling will broaden our perspective towards the society and people.
However
Linking Words
, an individual may face cultural shock as a part of
this
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 journey because our
culture
Use synonyms
 and their
culture
Use synonyms
 may contradict with each other.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
somethings
Suggestion
some things
 that we do may hurt their feelings. So it is better to avoid these kinds of
practice
Use synonyms
 and we should accept their
culture
Use synonyms
.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
, we have our own rights to express our identity and
culture
Use synonyms
. If we are ready to adapt their
culture
Use synonyms
 and local
Use synonyms
practice we
Accept comma addition
practice, we
 can have a better life and peaceful atmosphere in that place or country.
For instance
Linking Words
,
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
 is a country with a lot of moral values and
cultural
Suggestion
culture
cultures
culturally
. Most of the people will not support
homosexuality but
Accept comma addition
homosexuality, but
 in many countries it is legal to have
this
Linking Words
practice
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, globalization and migration
has resulted
Suggestion
have resulted
 in dilution of an
individuals
Suggestion
individual's
individual
 identity.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that every
person
Use synonyms
 has the right to express his or her emotions and customs. It depends on each individual to individual. So we cannot compel
someone
any person
anyone
 to adapt something. On the aforementioned fact and
data we
Accept comma addition
data, we
 can say that if one
person
Use synonyms
 is ready to adapt another
culture
Use synonyms
 and
practice
Use synonyms
 when that
Use synonyms
person
Suggestion
people
teavel
change location; move, travel, or proceed, also metaphorically
travel
 to a place will help in many ways.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as a migrant we have to
respt
(usually preceded by 'in') a detail or point
respect
 their
culture
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by simsonsimonchalissery on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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