Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars , sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

#celebrities #film #stars #sportsmen #pop #musicians #money #jobs

It is often observed that people working in the field of sports and entertainment are paid exorbitantly.

This

essay agrees that while sportsmen and other artists are paid heavily, they have acquired their skills with serious hard

work

and deserve every penny of it.

This

essay will

first

discuss the reason why celebrities and athletes are entitled to receive substantial pay and

further

, suggest other professions that deserve a high remuneration. Prominent personalities deserve to be highly paid because they help in boosting the profitability of the organisations they endorse.

This

is to say, people consider sports athletes and television artists as their role models and follow their footsteps.

Therefore

, companies choose them as their brand ambassador in order to increase the sale of their products and become market leaders. Since, celebrities magnify and uplift the profits of the companies, their high remunerations are justified.

Furthermore

, famous people are worthy for high income as they

work

immensely hard, irrespective of their health conditions, family needs and other

priorites

status established in order of importance or urgency

priorities

, to not only to entertain people but to

also

bring name and fame to their country. Apart from celebrities, people employed in

armed forces

Suggestion

the armed forces

and working as

dosctors

a licensed medical practitioner

doctors

also

deserved to be

paid highly

Accept comma addition

paid, highly

since they

work

selflessly for the people of their country. Military personnels are posted

Suggestion

border

Suggestion

the border

, sacrificing their lives in order to protect their country from any danger or terrorist attacks.

Moreover

, medical practitioners study for years in order to acquire

thes

plural of "this"

these

the

this

skills and knowledge that they can

put into service; make work or employ for a particular purpose or for its inherent or natural purpose

use

to save peoples' lives.

Hence

, they well deserve to receive money in

crores

. To conclude, famous people

deserves

Suggestion

deserve

to receive high

inome

the financial gain (earned or unearned) accruing over a given period of time

income

inane

as they not only aids in business in gaining huge profits but

also

work

very hard in their industry.

Besides

this

, health care practitioners and armed forces

also

deserve high income because of the unselfish duties they perform.

Submitted by sodhi.parul.18 on Wed Feb 26 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars , sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

1. The best way to travel is travelling in a group led by a tour guide. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same thing and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

nowadays alot of people are able to do their work from home.discuss advantages and disadvantages.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.