IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The best way to sole the world’s environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world’s #cost #fuel
It is argued that governments should levy a higher cost
on
Suggestion
of
fuel
 because the number of environmental problems associated with using
fuel
 is on the rise.
This
 essay agrees that
fuel
 should be purchased at a higher price by consumers.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will discuss how
fuel
 affects the ecosystems and
secondly
, discuss why increasing the price of
fuel
 is proven to be the most effective method.
Firsly
Suggestion
Firstly
, increasing the expenditure of
fuel
 would probably dissuade people from using an
alarmingly
Suggestion
alarming
 amount of
fuel
, like gas and oil. In fact, in Vietnam, a new type of motorcycle was just invented.
In addition
, it doesn’t need
fuel
 to start working but energy. It is called VinFast and it is reasonably priced when as opposed to others. As far as I am concerned, the good precedent will be set by Vinfast,
therefore
 making people
more willingly
Suggestion
more willing
 to stay away from using
fuel
, or at least minimize the amount used.
Secondly
, the reasons below will prove why levying a rise in the cost on
fuel
 outweighs other ideas. Increasing the expenditure on
fuel
 will turn
fuel
 into
luxury item
Suggestion
a luxury item
, which people will not decide to afford it anymore. Which means we can mitigate the risks for the environment:
fumes
Suggestion
fume
 emission, acid rains, global warming.
However
, other than that,
this
 will
also
 promote vehicles company to invent another type of vehicle from the
future which
Accept comma addition
future, which
 use energy power
instead
 of burning
fuel
, unconsciously accelerating the development of
techonology
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technology
technologies
. In conclusion,
fuel
 should be greatly priced for the purpose of reducing environmental problems as well as cultivating a new type of vehicle which runs by energy.
Submitted by ngocquyet0510 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: