IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the mean
temperature
Use synonyms
 per month,
whereas
Linking Words
 the table demonstrates the
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average in a year in
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
 and
Sydney
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
although
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 become warmer
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the temperatures start to decrease near the end of the year, the opposite trend is true for
Sydney
Use synonyms
. In January, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 is higher than
New
Change preposition
in New
show examples
York
Use synonyms
 with figures 8 and
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 respectively. As the temperatures in both cities continue to rise, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 becomes higher than
Use synonyms
London
Change preposition
in London
show examples
 in
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 of March; the figures go up gradually and reach peaks in July (just under 30 and around 23) before showing a downward trend until December with a lower
temperature
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 than in
London
Use synonyms
. Turning to
Sydney
Use synonyms
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 starts to decline from January to July and
then
Linking Words
 rises back
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the year with the lowest point just above 15. From the table, it is observed that New
York
Use synonyms
 has the highest number of
hours
Use synonyms
 exposed to the sunshine (2535
hours
Use synonyms
) and that was slightly higher than that of
Sydney
Use synonyms
 (2473
hours
Use synonyms
).
Total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 of sunshine in
London
Use synonyms
 was the least and that was 1180
hours
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, hours, london, york, sydney with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • temperature
  • sunshine
  • monthly
  • annual
  • comparison
  • characteristics
  • detailed analysis
  • highest
  • lowest
  • examination
  • relationship
  • illustrate
  • patterns
  • rainfall
  • climate
  • considerable variation
  • significantly
  • notable
  • data representation
  • regional differences
  • yearly averages
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