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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #population #australia #malaysia #summarise #features #comparison
The table illustrates the demographics of
Australia
as well as
Malaysia
 between the years 1980 and 2002.
Overall
,from the year 1980 to 2002 the
population
 figures in both countries are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
show examples
 trend;
nevertheless
, that of
Malaysia
 is remarkably higher than in
Australia
.
Whereas
 the percentage of
men
 and
women
 are slightly distinctive, the whole
population
,
rate
 of birth, the
growth
 of
population
 yearly and the elderly witness
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
 change. In 22 years, the entire
population
 of
Australia
 considerably goes up from 14.7
million
 to 19.6
million
, but it is less dramatic than that of
Malaysia
. The data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Malaysia
 in 2002, which is 24.3
million
 is nearly twice as high as that in 1980 about 13.7
million
. Despite the stability of the
rate
 of
men
 and
women
 in
Australia
 , 49.9
million
 and 50.1
million
 respectively, in
Malaysia
, the proportion of
men
 gradually climbs about 0,3% and the statistic for
women
 decline
0,3
Change preposition
by 0,3
show examples
%., Unlike
Malaysia
, the figure for
men
 is less than that for
women
 in
Australia
. The two nations experience a downward trend in the
rate
 of infants in 2002 with 0,2% in
Australia
 and noticeably1% in
Malaysia
. The
growth
 of
population
 every year on average in
Australia
 enormously rises
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
%;
however
, the
rate
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
growth
 in
Malaysia
 drops
0,3
Change preposition
by 0,3
show examples
% and
Australia
 has significantly lower
growth
 rates. The proportion of the aged in
Australia
 grows dramatically by 2,8%, which is more substantial than the rising figure in
Malaysia
 by 0,6%.
Submitted by kieutrang310 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, malaysia, population, men, women, rate, growth, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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