IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that sharing information freely will benefit in scientific research, business and academic world. However, others think some information is too important or too valuable to be shared. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #information #benefit #research #business #world
The graph illustrates the number of the male and the female graduates in Canadian universities, from 1992 till 2007. Overall, it is quite evident that both the genders of the students in universities rose steadily over the years. Another feature which is seen from the graph is girls outnumbered boys during
this
 time. In 1992, the number of the males pursuing a higher education was about 70000, whereas the girls were around 100000. In 1995, the students grew in numbers by approximately 5 per cent for both sexes at 105000 and 75000, for females and males, respectively.
However
, there was a steady decline in learners, not only the men, but
also
 the women in 1998, back to 1992 level.
Furthermore
, from 2000 to 2007, there was a rise in the pupils, with women rose steeply from 100000 in 2000, to 150000 in 2007, about 50% increase.
Moreover
, the men
also
 rose up steadily by 20000, from 70000 to 90000, in 2000 and in 2007, respectively.
Submitted by jomontjacob23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: