IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Even though doctors all over the world agree that the fast food is bad for people’s health, more and more people are eating it. Why are more people eating fast food? What can be done about this problem?

#doctors #world #food #people’s #health #people
Nowadays, many medical researches show that the fast
food
 will impose the significant
health
 risks
such
 as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. In spite of
this
 medical warning, the number of the people who eat fast
food
 is
in
Suggestion
to
 increase.
This
 essay will illustrate the causes and discuss about the possible solutions.
To begin
 with, people are often exposed to many appealing advertisements for the fast
food
. The
food
 on the publicities are appetizing and hard to resist the attraction.
Besides
, the fast
food
 companies do not show any negative impacts of the
health
 risks which are caused by eating fast
food
.
Lastly
, People are not educated enough to know about the link between unhealthy
food
 and
health
 risks. As the consequence, more people choose to eat fast
food
 than before. In order to solve
this
 problem, people should be more educated about nutrition, and healthy diet.
For example
, children should be given the opportunities to take a class as one of
optional subjects
Suggestion
the optional subjects
 so that they can develop knowledge about
health
 and diet.
In addition
 to
this
, fast
food
 companies should advise consumers about the possible
health
 risks if they eat excessive amount of fast
food
 in the advertisements. In conclusion,
although
 more people eat fast
food
 than in the past, many people do not seem to notice the negative impacts on their
health
.
Therefore
, we are encouraged to have sufficient knowledge about
health
 and diet, and the fast
food
 companies are advised to revise the advertisements with regard to the
health
 risks.
Submitted by yukiko.212 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: