IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

WRITE A LETTER TO COMMUNITY HEALTH NURSE

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I am writing to refer
Martin
Use synonyms
 Wison who is requiring your continued
care
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 and urgent attention. Now he is set to be discharged into your
care
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.
Martin
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 was presented to our
care
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 on 13 October with attempted suicide following an overdose of Mogodol. On admission , he was weak and depressed. He was prescribed Lovan 2oomg. During hospitalization, he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 health education was given on diet and oral medication. Now, he is using a wheelchair from 20\10. Currently, he has a poor appetite and is physically unfit to do his activities.
Martin
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 was a retired bookkeeper and lives with his wife. He has had a habit of heavy smoker and a social drinker. He was depressed
due to
Linking Words
 his gambling
addiction
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. He started gambling 2 years ago
as a result
Linking Words
 he lost his friend and has lost a lot of his money including superannuation funds and
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 debt. After that, he wishes to overcome
addiction
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. He has had a history of bronchitis , and psoriasis and is underweight. I would highly appreciate it if you could take over
Martin
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 in your
care
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. kindly encourage him to maintain his medicine routine as the SSRI is established. Assist and encourage him to join a gambling
addiction
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 group. Kindly help him to make an appointment with a psychologist and a social worker for gambling
addiction
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 therapy. If you have any queries, don't hesitate to contact me. Yours sincerely Nurse

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and continuity in your paragraphing; each paragraph should present a single clear idea and follow logically from the preceding one.
coherence cohesion
Use a proper salutation at the beginning and a corresponding closing phrase to maintain the formalities of letter-writing.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should focus on a single aspect of the referral, allowing for easier follow-up and understanding by the community health nurse.
task achievement
Provide all relevant details to fully respond to the task of referring the patient, ensuring nothing crucial is omitted.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and appropriate formal tone throughout the letter to align with the professional nature of communication.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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