IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Young people are leaving their homes frome rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantage?

#people #homes #frome #areas #study #work #cities #development
In recent years, young people tend to continue their education and improve their profession by moving to the cities due to lack of facilities and having different opportunities on their place.
However
, there are number
of dr
Suggestion
a number
awbacks occurring to immigrate youngsters, I believe that the benefits outweigh notable in developing society.
To begin
 with, There are various reasons that immigration dramatically increase from rural areas. On the one hand, the most significant reason is the availability of college, universities and other educational places .
Als
o
Accept space
.
young people have a chance to choose many different fields of study without any restriction in equipped and modern university in order to reach high l
evel of ed
Suggestion
a high level
ucation.
For instance
, they could be a doctor or an engineer.
On the other hand
, they able to access high standard of living by employing in many companies and organization that exist in big cities. In the other words, job opportunities in megaci
ties will
bring them an occupation with high income and good benefits that attract them to replace as making life much easier an comfortable for themselves and their families.
Although
, moving to the city have many drawbacks like overpopulation, air pollution, traffic jam, and many other problems, I believe that the advantages of
this
 replacement outweigh due to the fact that increasing graduated people increase the level of society’s education so
this
 society able to develop faster and competence.
On the other hand
, more people can live in appropriate circumstance in city i
n or
Suggestion
the city
a city
cities
der to find a better job in modern cities. To conclude, in recent decades, young generation keen on immigrate to the urban area from rural area because of many facilities and attraction. Regardless of disadv
antages, I th
Suggestion
the disadvantages
ink the benefits are more remarkable to develop a society.
Submitted by vj.shirani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: