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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think fame does more harm than good to young people. Do you agree?

#people #fame #harm
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The
fam
Use synonyms
e is
a contest with rules to determine a winner
game
 becoming a matter of concern among young people, as many of them want to achieve it.
As a result
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, it can be argued that being famous will be more detrimental to the youth than beneficial. In my opinion, I partly agree with
this
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 viewpoint. On the one hand, there are several advantages of being famous to
th
Suggestion
for
e life of youngsters.
Firstly
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, young people can make a huge amount of money with the help of
fame
Use synonyms
, which means that they can be financially independent and their parents would relieve the financial burden in some respects.
Furthermore
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, being a celebrity is accompanied wit
h ha
Suggestion
by
ving more fans. Henceforth, the young may feel mor
e inspirational be
Suggestion
more inspired
cause of the appreciations from the followers;
therefore
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, the confidence and the sense of recognition might be gained in the youth’s personalities.
On the other hand
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, the
fam
Use synonyms
e
a contest with rules to determine a winner
game
also
Linking Words
 brings a few potential drawbacks to the children.
First
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 and foremost, the privacy of young celebrities could be disturbed under the microscope of newspaper and paparazzi, meaning that they have to be careful with their beh
aviors or
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
behaviours
 their speeches in the public, which is said to bring the inconvenience and annoyance.
Moreover
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, the
fame
Use synonyms
 can lead to the bad habits among people because of the abundance in finance.
This
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 can be seen in the circumstance that some young artists with a huge amount of income may have dru
g addiction, w
Suggestion
a drug addiction
drug addictions
hich will ruin their mental and physical hea
th.
a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease
health
 In conclusion, while the
fame
Use synonyms
 can jeopardize the life of youngsters, I suppose that they can be advantageous as the money and the admiration from fans will make their life easier.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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