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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #outweigh
Advancement in technology has changed
life style
Suggestion
the life style
 of people significantly in medical field
.
Accept space
.
Therefore
, people are living longer time. Advance medical sector has
benefits but
Accept comma addition
benefits, but
 I think it does not outweigh
it’s
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 drawbacks
such
 as
increase
Suggestion
an increase
 in population, unemployment and dependence of older age group on the society. Let us examine
this
 statement in
further
 paragraphs. To commence with, advance medical care rises population
.
Accept space
.
As people nowadays have solution of detrimental ailments,
likewise
 cancer, heart diseases and many more which were
uncureable
incapable of being cured
incurable
 in
bygone era
Suggestion
bygone eras
the bygone era
a bygone era
. Due to
this
plural of "this"
these
facilities people are
Suggestion
facilities, people are
facility people are
facility facility people are
 living longer
,
Accept space
,
 which creates
issue
Suggestion
issues
 of overpopulation
.
Accept space
.
Consequently
, unemployment
become
Suggestion
becomes
 major concerns among young populace because experienced people are the
first
 demand of every working organization. To illustrate, a research was conducted by
London university
Suggestion
a London university
 in
UK which
Suggestion
the UK, which
the UK which
 revealed that 70% older age group is
on
Suggestion
for
 employment as
they
of them or themselves
their
 energy and better
health
 as well as they avoid retirement from their jobs
.
Accept space
.
Thus
,
number
Suggestion
the number
a number
 of young almost equal to zero in working
fields
Suggestion
the fields
.
Accept space
.
Additionally
, another disadvantage of inclining
life
 expectancy not only foe
people but
Accept comma addition
people, but
also
 for the authorities. As it becomes moderate for the government to provide basic facilities to all people
such
 as accommodation, water and electricity
.
Accept space
.
Hence
 increasing number of people due to
health
 facilities indirectly effecting economy of the nation. To illustrate, in almost every county people over 60 are getting free of cost heath treatment as well as travel on half tickets which is at the end pay
by
Suggestion
of
 the government
.
Accept space
.
On the contrary
, there is a one advantage of having
longer
Suggestion
a longer life
life
 because of
health
 facilities is people are living with the
mix
Suggestion
mixed
 age group
.
Accept space
.
Moreover
, people can get advice from experienced people. As senior citizen can guide
new generation
Suggestion
the new generation
new generations
a new generation
 about difficult situations and motivate them
by
Suggestion
in
 their struggle. To conclude, it can be said that modern
health
 facilities are
backbone
Suggestion
the backbone
 of
this
era but
Accept comma addition
era, but
 in certain situation it can be halted
life
 of people.
As a result
 having longer
life
 has corns which cannot be neglected
such
 dependence of older people on others, unemployment
,
Accept space
,
disturbance of
economy
Suggestion
the economy
 so it is clear disadvantages are overweigh having longer
life
’s advantages.
Submitted by gurjeet14002 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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