IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Advanced medical treatments are generally expensive. People’s access to proper health care should not depend upon their level of income. All people have the right to access the best medicine available. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

#treatments #people’s #access #health #care #level #income #people #right #medicine
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 day and age, ways of improving
health
 have appeared to be a hotly debated issue in daily lives.
However
, the more advanced medical treatments are, the more expensive they seem to be,
hence
 the poor cannot get
access
 to modern medical services. Some people argue that both of the affluent and the poor should have the right to get medical treatments equally. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 idea and believe that people’s
access
 to proper
health
care
 should not depend on the level of their incomes. It is undeniable that middle and lower classes have taken more serious diseases than the upper class due to lack of medical facilities, shortage of knowledgeable
health
care
 information and especially exorbitant fees.
Consequently
, the current situation is mainly the wealthy, not the needy, can approach to the best medical treatments.
This
 negative trend should be dealt with by letting the poor get
access
 to advanced medical services.
Furthermore
, the main aim of inventing modern
health
care
 methods is improving people’s lives, and the mission of every hospital is to try their best to save and help their patients recover.
Therefore
, there should not have any discrimination against the poor during the curing process.
This
 is not only the moral of a doctor, but
also
 a humanitarian aspect.
In addition
, the government and the more wealthy should raise funds and set up non-profit organizations which are managed to help poor and disabled people in terms of
health
care
.
Such
 actions may make the scale of people suffering from common diseases decline significantly. In conclusion, every citizen has the right to
access
 modern medical achievements irrespective of their financial status.
Also
, the authorities should take actions to assist the poor.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: