IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000
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In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, ways of improving
health
Use synonyms
 have appeared to be a hotly debated issue in daily
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the more advanced medical treatments are, the more expensive they seem to be,
hence
Linking Words
 the poor cannot get
access
Use synonyms
 to modern medical services. Some people argue that both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the affluent and the poor should have the right to get medical treatments equally. Personally, I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea and believe that people’s
access
Use synonyms
 to proper
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 should not depend on the level of their incomes. It is undeniable that middle and lower classes have taken more serious diseases than the upper class
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of medical facilities, shortage of knowledgeable
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
 information and especially exorbitant fees.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the current situation is mainly the wealthy, not the needy, can approach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the best medical treatments.
This
Linking Words
 negative trend should be dealt with by letting the poor get
access
Use synonyms
 to advanced medical services.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the main aim of inventing modern
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 methods is improving people’s lives, and the mission of every hospital is to try their best to save and help their patients recover.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there should not have any discrimination against the poor during the curing process.
This
Linking Words
 is not only the moral of a doctor
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 a humanitarian aspect.
In addition
Linking Words
, the government and the more wealthy should raise funds and set up non-profit organizations which are managed to help poor and disabled people in terms of
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 actions may make the scale of people suffering from common diseases decline significantly. In conclusion, every citizen has the right to
access
Use synonyms
 modern medical achievements irrespective of their financial status.
Also
Linking Words
, the authorities should take actions to assist the poor.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, access, care with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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