The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000
In
this
day and age, ways of improving health
have appeared to be a hotly debated issue in daily lives
. Fix the agreement mistake
life
However
, the more advanced medical treatments are, the more expensive they seem to be, hence
the poor cannot get access
to modern medical services. Some people argue that both of
the affluent and the poor should have the right to get medical treatments equally. Personally, I completely agree with Change preposition
apply
this
idea and believe that people’s access
to proper health
care
should not depend on the level of their incomes.
It is undeniable that middle and lower classes have taken more serious diseases than the upper class due to
lack
of medical facilities, shortage of knowledgeable Correct article usage
a lack
health
care
information and especially exorbitant fees. Consequently
, the current situation is mainly the wealthy, not the needy, can approach to
the best medical treatments. Change preposition
apply
This
negative trend should be dealt with by letting the poor get access
to advanced medical services.
Furthermore
, the main aim of inventing modern health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
care
methods is improving people’s lives, and the mission of every hospital is to try their best to save and help their patients recover. Therefore
, there should not have any discrimination against the poor during the curing process. This
is not only the moral of a doctor,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
a humanitarian aspect.
In addition
, the government and the more wealthy should raise funds and set up non-profit organizations which are managed to help poor and disabled people in terms of health
care
. Such
actions may make the scale of people suffering from common diseases decline significantly.
In conclusion, every citizen has the right to access
modern medical achievements irrespective of their financial status. Also
, the authorities should take actions to assist the poor.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, access, care with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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