5. Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?

It is irrefutable, that lifestyle has drastically changed over the period of time.
Therefore some
Accept comma addition
Therefore, some
specialist opine that due to fact that most senior masses drained their time performing exercise with family and friends in the past, they tend to be pleased and healthier. Whilst many go through isolation and other health threats in
this
contemporary world.
This
essay shall examine the potential causes and viable solutions to overcome it. To embark on, it is obvious that most of the
individual
Suggestion
individuals
are attracted to computer games and watching television.
In other words
, many people have
welcome sedentary lifestyle
Suggestion
a welcome sedentary lifestyle
welcome sedentary lifestyles
due to the advent of computer and
proliferation
Suggestion
the proliferation
of
internet
Suggestion
the internet
.
For instance
, a recent poll conducted by researcher’s state that 85% of children prefer video games over physical activities. Which has resulted in welcoming numerous health issue like hypertension and obesity.
Besides
this
, they lack
on
Suggestion
of
inculcating social values like cooperation, tolerance and team spirit. To overcome
this
,
government
Suggestion
the government
should impose strict rules on masses to take part in physical activities like yoga, running and other activities.
As a result
,
this
would contribute to enhance the life in a better way. To add
on
Suggestion
in
the secondary contributing factor,
increase
Suggestion
the increase
in
consumption
Suggestion
the consumption
of junk
food
.
In other words
, western
countries
Suggestion
country's
countries'
culture has a great influence on many, due to the fact most of them follow the trend of consuming fast foods which lack required nutrition.
For instance
, kids often
fall
undergo an emotional sensation or be in a particular state of mind
feel
as a victim for restaurants like McDonalds and KFC
,
Accept space
,
as a
result there
Accept comma addition
result, there
is
a
Suggestion
an
increase in obesity and other vascular problems.
However parents
Accept comma addition
However, parents
should educate them to consume
such
foods
instead
should provide them with
food
with contains rich in proteins and vitamins.
Consequently
,
this
would enhance the immunity of an individual. To summarize,
Although
use of electronic gadgets and consumption of junk
food
habits deters one’s lifestyle, frequent exercise and consumption of fresh
food
would
subsequently
help to be free from any problems and can lead to
better way
Suggestion
a better way
better ways
of living.
Submitted by ksbharath00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Exercise
  • Spending time
  • Loneliness
  • Health problems
  • Causes
  • Solutions
  • Lifestyle
  • Priorities
  • Social interaction
  • Physical activity
  • Advancements in technology
  • Promote
  • Engaging
  • Opportunities
  • Awareness
  • Family
  • Community
What to do next:
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