People believe that the government should financially support retired people, others believe that retired people should care for themselves. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some of the people argued that retired people should take wa
ge f
Suggestion
a wage
wages
rom governments while others believe that people who are retired should care themselves without any backing.In
this
Linking Words
essay ı will discuss both views with valid arguments and examples. On the one hand,p
e
Accept space
,
ople who are retired do
nt h
do not
don't
ave any ability to earn en
ought w
as much as necessary
enough
age for their basic requirements.For
this
Linking Words
reason government support might be precious for their
life
Use synonyms
,s
i
Accept space
,
nce the average age for becoming retire is ap
roximately 5
(of quantities) imprecise but fairly close to correct
approximately
0 years old.So after
this
Linking Words
age ,
un
Accept space
,
fortunately people will lose their physical powers and maybe they will lose their mental healths.Th
atswhy,p
Suggestion
e
Accept space
,
ople who are retired might be un
successfull i
not successful; having failed or having an unfavorable outcome
unsuccessful
successful
n their wo
rklifes a
Suggestion
fter
this
Linking Words
age.Unfortunately ,
th
Accept space
,
ey might not hire as a worker from any company.For
this
Linking Words
reason they might not find a en
ought b
as much as necessary
enough
udget to contınue their
life
Use synonyms
and if they have a fa
milies they w
Suggestion
family, they
family they
ill not feed them without any go
vernments s
Suggestion
government
upport.
In ad
Linking Words
dition retired p
Accept comma addition
addition, retired
eople spent their somewhat 30 years with working and when they became retired will not confidence to continue their work
life
Use synonyms
.So people who are retired are eager to devote th
emself f
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
or their gr
andchildens o
Suggestion
r wi
fes r
a married woman; a man's partner in marriage
wife
wife's
wives
ather than workplaces.They have right to contınue their li
fes a
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
life
s like
this
Linking Words
,
si
Accept space
,
nce nearly all governments have
life
Use synonyms
ınsurance and they cut their workers budgets when they are working.People give permission governments for their
further
Linking Words
li
fes.T
a characteristic state or mode of living
life
files
life's
h
atsy w
Suggestion
That's
hy fortunately retired people actually take their budgets from governments when they are retired.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,p
e
Accept space
,
ople who are retired might not have any support countries economies. In co
ntrast they m
Accept comma addition
contrast, they
ight be hu
rden f
a line of text serving to indicate what the passage below it is about
heading
or the go
verments t
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
governments
o increase wo
rkers s
Suggestion
workers'
alaries,s
i
Accept space
,
nce go
verments s
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
governments
e
perates t
act as a barrier between; stand between
separates
heir budgets not only active workers but
also
Linking Words
retired people.When they cut retired pe
ople s
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
alaries active luckıly workers might earn much more money when we compare the their todays salaries.
Besides
Linking Words
,a
c
Accept space
,
tive workers affect countries economic situations positively,s
i
Accept space
,
nce they contrıbute co
untries e
Suggestion
countries'
conomies,p
r
Accept space
,
oducing stuff.But unfortunately retired people might not have any positive af
fect o
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
effect
n go
verments e
Suggestion
government's
governments
conomic situations.
On the co
Linking Words
ntrary they a
Accept comma addition
contrary, they
re getting money from go
verments w
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
governments
ithout any working. In my opınıon,g
o
Accept space
,
vernments should subsidize retired people as long as they live,s
i
Accept space
,
nce they are taking money
that is
Linking Words
lo
an f
Suggestion
loaned
rom governments.Th
ats w
Suggestion
That's
hy they do
nt h
do not
don't
ave any negative affects governments economic situations.
In ad
Linking Words
dition retired
Accept comma addition
addition, retired
wo
rkers s
Suggestion
workers'
alaries do
nt b
do not
don't
e taken from active workers budgets ,
si
Accept space
,
nce governments se
perates t
act as a barrier between; stand between
separates
separate
heir budgets differently when they are pa
ying.
Suggestion
paid
Submitted by muhendisugur10 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: