The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

#sales #kinds #games

The chart illustrates which typologies of digital

games

(mobile phone

games

, online

games

, console

games

, handheld

games

) had been sold from 2000 to 2006. The units are expressed in $bn.

Overall

handheld

games

are the most sold of all and their global

sales

increased from almost $ 12000000 in 2000 to arrive just below $ 18000000 in 2006. All the

games

considered

rised

Correct your spelling

raised

their global

sales

but the console

games

, as it is possible to see the money spent on these

games

decrease every year, from almost $ 6000000 in 2000 to approximately $ 3000000 in 2006. In the year 2000 mobile phone

games

and online

games

had no

sales

, the online

games

started to

be sell

Change the verb form

be sold

show examples

in 2001 whit a very little amount of

earns

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

. But

then

, from 2002 to 2006 their

sales

increased rapidly until reaching more or less $ 8000000.

The mobile

Correct article usage

Mobile

show examples

phone

games

started to have considerable global

sales

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2002

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when they were at the same level as the ones of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online

games

Then

their

sales

increased constantly until 2006,

where

Correct word choice

when

show examples

the sale are lower than handheld

games

and online

games

but more than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

double

Correct pronoun usage

those of

show examples

console

Add an article

the console

a console

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Sat Feb 29 2020

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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

When families have a meal together it is considered social activity. Do you think eating together is important to people in your country?

Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarranted, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.