Some people believ that music should be taught in the schools, while others belive that its best to focus on science and computer. Do you agree?

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Introduction

The curriculum is updated regularly according to the needs, interests or abilities of the learners. Owing to

this

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, some ed

ucationalist b

Suggestion

elieves that the syllabus should focus on subjects related to

science

Use synonyms

and technology rather than focusing on the

music

Use synonyms

. I argue that teaching

science

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has more benefits than

music

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;

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

cannot be the reason to drop the

music

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subject from the syllabus.

Body · 1

Studying IT and

science

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course provides better job opportunities to the students. Everyone around the globe is talking about intelligent robots, self-driving cars and colonization of Mars.

This

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goal cannot be achieved unless there are enough skilled researchers and engineers. The demand,

for instance

Linking Words

, for students graduating from

science

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course is ten times more than any other

field

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. Adding to

this

Linking Words

, the world is facing scarcity of talented researchers in various fields because of which probability of getting a well-paid job is higher than any other

field

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Body · 2

Having said that, studying

science

Use synonyms

is not everyone's cup of tea. To succeed in the scientific

field

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, one should be comfortable with mathematics, physics and chemistry. Not every student is interested in studying these subjects;

therefore

Linking Words

they must be provided with other choices

such

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, some students are born with an innate talent for

music

Use synonyms

, which makes them more successful in the

field

Use synonyms

of entertainment.

For example

Linking Words

, Arijit Singh, a well-known singer from India, is far more famous than that of many scientists and researchers.

Therefore

Linking Words

, excluding the

music

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from the curriculum is not justifiable.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I agree that studies in the

field

Use synonyms

science

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and computers provide better opportunities for graduates.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

cannot be a reason to stop teaching

music

Use synonyms

as some students might have the talent to excel in the

field

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

zaid.qassem1991

Mar 1, 2020

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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Some people believ that music should be taught in the schools, while others belive that its best to focus on science and computer. Do you agree?

Some people think that technological development has made life complex. The only possible solution it not to use technology to live a simpler life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important as other subjects to a child’s development, and they should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

After finishing school, some students go traveling or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do you think the advantages of gap years outweigh the disadvantages?

Some say that the most important thing about being rich is that one has the opportunity to help others. To what extent do you agree or disagree?