In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage

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In the modern world, many women are not willing to marry in their younger ages, because the majority of females can run their livelihood. In

this

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reason, making money cab give them a confidence.

Accordingly

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, they should not be worried about the financial security, which is brought by marriage.

However

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this

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tendency can bring negative outcomes. There is no denying that the modern job market can offer a various types of works for females. In

this

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regard, they are not concerned about the marriage, because they can accomplish their personal purposes, run their own business and earn money

instead

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of doing house works,

such

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as cleaning, cooking and washing.

That is

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to say, the patriarchal society is disappearing, because of new breakthroughs,

such

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as digital technologies and the internet.

Consequently

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, females can concentrate on other things,

instead

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of marriage, because they can earn money by themselves. A good illustration of

this

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is businesswomen, whose companies can make a profit more than males.

On the other hand

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, many women are willing to be a mother. In

this

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reason, they create a family with males, because it is essential to have an offspring in order to continue their genes.

Moreover

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, it gives happiness, because many females treasure their families as equal as males.

Accordingly

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, they do their best in order to save and protect their family members. To illustrate, many mothers are keen to leave their job in form to raise their children.

However

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, in many cases,

this

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devotion often lives up to their expectation. To conclude, many individuals believe that women no longer feel the need to get married, because of their financial independence.

However

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, it is human nature to create a family in the form to continue their genes. In

this

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reason, many women need a family.

Sun Mar 01 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

Your opinion

some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults by authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?