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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
The bar chart compares the expenditure on different
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 by the people of four European countries; namely Britain, France, Italy and Germany. At the first glance,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 spent more money on
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
Germans
Correct article usage
the Germans
show examples
 spent the least. It is worth noticing that,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 spent more than 170
thousand
Use synonyms
 pound sterling
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 photographic
films
Use synonyms
 which is the highest amount spent on any
consumer
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goods
Use synonyms
. The British
also
Linking Words
 spent more than 160
thousand
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 for purchasing
Toys
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 and CDs, which is higher than that of
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any other nation. For perfumes, tennis racquets and personal stereos, they spent more than other nations as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, French people spent around 165
thousand
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 purchasing photographic
films
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, which makes it the highest amount they spent on
consumer
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goods
Use synonyms
. French citizens spent about 158
thousand
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 on
toys
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 which is a tie with Italians. For photographic
films
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,
toys
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 and CDs, their spending totalled
Linking Words
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest among the given four nations.
Finally
Linking Words
, they spent less than 150
thousand
Use synonyms
 on remaining
consumer
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goods
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. Italian citizens spent around 150
thousand
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 on personal stereos, tennis racquets and CDs
while
Linking Words
 they spent about 5
thousand
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 more on photographic
films
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 and
toys
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the Germans spent the least amount on all
consumer
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 items than any other nation and their average spending was 145
thousand
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumer, goods, thousand, films, toys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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