some people think that to be successful,you need to get in university education wheras otgees say it is not true . discusa both views and hive your opinion

Success
Suggestion
The success
of a person cannot be defined by their level of
education
infact
it is the
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
and determination which plays a vital role.
some
Suggestion
Some
people believe that higher
education
is the only key to
success
.
However others
Accept comma addition
However, others
insists
Suggestion
insist
there are various other factors which matters to attain
success
in life. I completely support the latter
viewpiont
a mental position from which things are viewed
viewpoint
and will discuss both notions in
further
paragraphs. On the one hand, it is beyond doubt that
education
is the cardinal key factor which makes the path of a
success
Suggestion
successful
bit easy. Fields like medical science needs thorough study of researches and diseases in order to become a successful surgeon.
Besides
university
education
is necessary in order to attain
specialisation
Suggestion
specialist
specialized
specialize
in a particular field of medical stream. To illustrate, it took 8-10 years of thumping study for achieving a designation of a doctor in medicines.
Hence
,
Accept space
,
educationis
Suggestion
education is
important for achieving higher ranks and posts in a society.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
inevitably
education
enlightens the path of a
success
Suggestion
successful
but
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
and determined behaviour of a person are responsible for their
success
. It is well said by Rabindranath Tagore that it needs 1%inspiration and 99% perspiration. It is evident from
Billgates
Suggestion
Bill gates
,
Accept space
,
one of the richest and renowned elites of business and Sachin Tendulkar
,
Accept space
,
the living legend of cricket, that university
education
is not necessary to be successful in life.As these two dwellers
didnot
Suggestion
did not
even bothered to complete their secondary
education but
Accept comma addition
education, but
with their toil and passion, they touched the sky in their respective fields. To conclude,
although
education
is mandatory in various fields like medical research because in order to treat human bodies
,
Accept space
,
it
require
Suggestion
requires
complete and deep study of
field but
Accept comma addition
field, but
passion indeed
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
plays an imperative role to reach at successful positions in
scoiety
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
society
. As it is truly said that
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
is the paramount key to
success
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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