IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people think that to be successful,you need to get in university education wheras otgees say it is not true . discusa both views and hive your opinion

#people #university #education #wheras #otgees #discusa #hive
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Use synonyms
Success
Suggestion
The success
 of a person cannot be defined by their level of
education
Use synonyms
infact
Suggestion
 it is the
Use synonyms
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 and determination which plays a vital role.
some
Suggestion
Some
 people believe that higher
education
Use synonyms
 is the only key to
success
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However others
Accept comma addition
However, others
insists
Suggestion
insist
 there are various other factors which matters to attain
success
Use synonyms
 in life. I completely support the latter
viewpiont
a mental position from which things are viewed
viewpoint
 and will discuss both notions in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs. On the one hand, it is beyond doubt that
education
Use synonyms
 is the cardinal key factor which makes the path of a
Use synonyms
success
Suggestion
successful
 bit easy. Fields like medical science needs thorough study of researches and diseases in order to become a successful surgeon.
Besides
Linking Words
 university
education
Use synonyms
 is necessary in order to attain
specialisation
Suggestion
specialist
specialized
specialize
 in a particular field of medical stream. To illustrate, it took 8-10 years of thumping study for achieving a designation of a doctor in medicines.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
educationis
Suggestion
education is
 important for achieving higher ranks and posts in a society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
inevitably
education
Use synonyms
 enlightens the path of a
Use synonyms
success
Suggestion
successful
 but
Use synonyms
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 and determined behaviour of a person are responsible for their
success
Use synonyms
. It is well said by Rabindranath Tagore that it needs 1%inspiration and 99% perspiration. It is evident from
Billgates
Suggestion
Bill gates
,
Accept space
,
one of the richest and renowned elites of business and Sachin Tendulkar
,
Accept space
,
the living legend of cricket, that university
education
Use synonyms
 is not necessary to be successful in life.As these two dwellers
didnot
Suggestion
did not
 even bothered to complete their secondary
Use synonyms
education but
Accept comma addition
education, but
 with their toil and passion, they touched the sky in their respective fields. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 is mandatory in various fields like medical research because in order to treat human bodies
,
Accept space
,
it
require
Suggestion
requires
 complete and deep study of
field but
Accept comma addition
field, but
 passion indeed
Use synonyms
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 plays an imperative role to reach at successful positions in
scoiety
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
society
. As it is truly said that
Use synonyms
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 is the paramount key to
success
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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