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Band 7.5

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

#people #school #graduates #travel #work #period #time #study #university #approaches #knowlegde
It is not easy to discover personal interests and goals for teenagers. It is argued among people that they would travel or work for a
while
 before going to university but others do not think so. I strongly agree with the former notion that pupils can get experience in a particular field or move to other places, so they would be able to recognise their goals and abilities. I would like to explain my ideas in the following paragraphs. Nowadays, there are plenty of fields in our education system, but students are familiar with
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 of them. They could be misguided by other persons in terms of choosing a relevant profession, and they would not achieve their purpose.
For instance
, a person is good at computer skills but has chosen the medical field, so he can not put his real potential into that particular work.
Thus
, it is an effective way to work in any field which is relatable to your mind before studying at university. After that, an individual would choose a specific career related to his own deeds rather than the interference of someone else. Travelling is a convenient way to gain knowledge about new things and places
as well as
 get new ideas about a bright future.
Moreover
, when graduates meet different people and ask about their experiences in various subjects, they come to know which one is better for their growth and personal development.
Although
 education is crucial for a prosperous life, it is better to select a suitable career by testing your abilities in different tasks.
However
, there would be a study gap for a time period if someone skipped his education for several months or a year, but I think they could acquire knowledge in a particular sector which is beneficial for their studies. In conclusion,
Although
, there are a few drawbacks to
this
 concept, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because youngsters will study
according to
 their personal job experience which is compatible with their degree
Submitted by kamiawan3233 on

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Coherence
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Consider using more transitional words or phrases to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Try to balance the discussion by presenting more detailed disadvantages or counterarguments to strengthen the analysis.
Introduction
The introduction is clear and states your position effectively.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your position.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the example of a person good at computer skills choosing the medical field.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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