IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

All fathers should be entitled to time off from work when their children are born. What is your opinion?

#fathers #time #work #children
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Many companies
now allows
Suggestion
now allow
are now allowing
have now allowed
 fathers to take a few days or
week
Suggestion
a week
 off
leaves
Suggestion
the leaves
 to the
time
Use synonyms
 while his wife is pregnant. In my opinion, I think
this
Linking Words
 is a meaningful idea and in
further
Linking Words
 paragraph
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 am going to explain
this
Linking Words
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, just like mothers, fathers are
also
Linking Words
 feeling stress and tension
on
Suggestion
in
 their routine
life
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, at the
time
Use synonyms
 of
childbirth he
Accept comma addition
childbirth, he
 feels nervousness in their work. So that
time
Use synonyms
 company gives them a
paternity
Use synonyms
 leaves to spend
most beautiful moment
Suggestion
most beautiful moments
 of their
life
Use synonyms
 with their
life
Use synonyms
 partner.
In addition
Linking Words
, a
men
Suggestion
man
 working in that company where his wife is a labour,
then
Linking Words
 they can cope with the situation and deal with any problem easily like that women
also
Linking Words
 feel stressful when her husband is not there with her on
time
Use synonyms
 of delivery. So that the companies give
paternity
Use synonyms
 leaves for not only support their wives at the
time
Use synonyms
 of baby born but
also
Linking Words
 to
maintained
Suggestion
maintain
 or balanced their
life
Use synonyms
 cycle. The
second
Linking Words
think
a special situation
thing
 which I believe to give husband
paternity
Use synonyms
 leaves due to take care of his baby as well as his wife. Add on the birth of
child
Suggestion
a child
children
the child
 is extremely painful for the mother. At that
time
Use synonyms
, she hopeless and do not have much energy in her body. So the presence of her husband in crucial
time
Use synonyms
 give her positiveness and reduce her pain. To sum up, it is a good idea to give fathers a
paternity
Use synonyms
 leaves from work when their wives are pregnant. He becomes a strong support of her. More on, he can see a beautiful and priceless moment of their
life
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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