The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#people #states #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The following line graph provides

informations

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information

pieces of information

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about how American people used to spend their

time

from

1980

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the 1980

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year to

2010

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the 2010

show examples

year.

Overall

, at the beginning of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

1980 watching TV accounted

about

Change preposition

for about

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60% of the most

practiced

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practised

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activities,

while

surfing the internet was the lowest

activity

practiced

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practised

show examples

Firstly

both surfing the internet and reading were

practiced

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practised

show examples

from

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show examples

0% of the American population,

this

situation changed from 1990 to 2010year,

where

Correct word choice

when

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they had a

rapidly

Replace the word

rapid

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increase

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increasing

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, a similar situation occurred with hiking,

infact

Correct your spelling

in fact

, at the beginning of the period just 20% of the population spent their

time

this

activity

while

after about 30 years it became the most popular one. In the far 1980 the majority of

americans

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Americans

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used to spend their

time

watching TV, but

afterewords

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afterwards

this

practice had a slow

discrease

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decrease

increase

nevertheless

Add a comma

,nevertheless

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it still remained the

second

more common

activity

practiced

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practised

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nowadays. In

this

century we can claim that the most

practiced

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practised

show examples

activities from

American

Correct article usage

the American

show examples

population in their spare

time

are hiking, watching TV, reading and surfing the internet,

while

the less

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

show examples

activity

is going to the theatre

Sun Mar 01 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activity with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

181 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

What is it in the mass media that has negative effects on teenagers and what measures should governments take to solve this problem?

manufacturing process of making sugar from sugar cane.

Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sport such as snowboarding or mountain biking. What makes these sports so attractive? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks?

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?