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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have more positive or negative effects on the society?

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effects #society
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Thanks to the development of technology and the increase in personal wealth and lifespan of humanity have been prolonged.
Although
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 senior citizens can contribute to society, I would agree that the higher ratio of elderly population can bring about some problems. On the one hand, one problem about the ageing population is that
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 costs will soar and imposing a burden on taxpayers.
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论据1) It is well known that most medical needs and costs occur in old age.
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This
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 means that governments have to invest more
many
the most common medium of exchange; functions as legal tender
money
 in medical services, and other essential services
such
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 as education are short of money.
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论据2) Slowing efficiency is another problem, as the number of senior works increases. The ability to absorb information and handle work naturally declines with age.
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Many elderly people have a conservative attitude towards technology and struggle to learn how to use the latest software at work. If they choose to delay retirement, their presence in the workforce can influence companies’ productivity and endanger the whole economy.
On the other hand
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, the experience and wisdom of senior citizens can be a valuable asset to society.
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论据1) People today can live healthier and longer lives since they pay closer attention to a healthy diet and sports. They can work as consultants even after leaving the workforce, and impart their knowledge and skills to the younger generation.
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For example
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, some senior managers can teach young people how to manage a company and serve clients. Our society can draw upon the expertise of these older people. In conclusion, the rapidly increasing of the elderly population has put a strain on healthcare and impart output of the workforce. It will influence the economic development of a country,
although
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 we can have full use of senior workers’ wisdom.
Submitted by roisoleil.w91 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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