Some parents think it is good to give their children mobile phones, while others disagree. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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this

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essay I will discuss both views regarding whether or not it is good for parents to give their children mobile phones. I will

furthermore

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express my opinion and give explanations.

To begin

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with, while mobile phones are necessary in

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day and age, they may obstruct other daily activities. In my opinion I strongly agree that parents should give their children mobile phones.

Firstly

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, in a society heavily reliant on technology, phones have become somewhat of a necessity nowadays.

For example

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, parents may rely on phones to ensure the safety of their offspring.

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Moreover emergency

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Moreover, emergency

services and many other services function mainly through digital technology and

thus

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not having a phone may be problematic.

Subsequently

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a child may find it difficult to obtain assistance if required.

In addition

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, the phones are

also

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looked at as a social necessity.

For instance

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, children without phones may appear unpopular or get bullied.

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Therefore having

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Therefore, having

a phone can be argued to be a must. In my opinion, I strongly agree that children should have phones,.

In contrast

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, others may argue that mobile phones may obstruct other valued activities. To illustrate

this

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, an example would be a child spending many hours on their phones as opposed to working out.

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Therefore

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Therefore, this

this

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means that the child may suffer in other aspects and

as a result

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achieve poor results.

Also

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education may be reduced as well as some outdoor activities. So while phones are useful for some things they may actually be detrimental. I would argue,

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however that parents

Suggestion

however, that parents

should control the usage hours of mobile phones by their children. In conclusion, phones are needed for many services, but may lead to other consequences. It is clear,

however

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, that even though there are valid arguments as to where or not parents should give their children mobile phones, that their monitored use is beneficial. It is recommended that parents give their children mobile phones.

Sun Mar 01 2020

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15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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