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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.

The pie charts and table give information about the total value and sources of fish imported to the US between 1988 and 2000.
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The pie charts and table
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
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 data
of
Change preposition
on
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 the total value and countries (
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
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, china, others) of fish imported to the US over 3 different years 1988, 1992 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total value in billions of dollars had
an
Correct article usage
apply
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increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
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 over the period given. Canada had a decrease
while
Linking Words
 china had a dramatic growth. The fish
importations
Replace the word
imports
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other countries fluctuated. The total value started at 6.57
billions
Correct your spelling
billion
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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dollars in 1988 and it had a slight increase in 1992 with 8.52
whereas
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
 year it stood at 10.72.
The fish
Correct article usage
Fish
show examples
 importation to the US from Canada had the biggest percentage with 60% in 1988 and it dropped to 34% in 1992 followed by a decline to 28% in 2000. China started
with
Change preposition
at
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 13% and it proceeded to rise to 30% in the final year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the proportion of imports relatively grew from 27% in 1988 to 42% in 2000 with
it's
Correct your spelling
its
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largest
Add an article
the largest
a largest
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 majority of 46% in 1992.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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