IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
These days,
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
 regions, customers can buy food from different countries when they go to a
supermarket
Use synonyms
. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 trend is a positive development, and
people
Use synonyms
 have huge benefits from
this
Linking Words
. Consumers can buy their traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 from a
supermarket
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 they live in another country.
Likewise
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can buy different countries’
foods
Use synonyms
 without going to another country.
Firstly
Linking Words
, students who are studying in another country can buy traditional
foods
Use synonyms
, which are important for their healthy lives.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they can focus on their work so that they can achieve high marks on their exams.
For instance
Linking Words
, my university friend who lives in Australia buys Sri Lankan
foods
Use synonyms
 from the
supermarket
Use synonyms
, and he believes that it is a huge benefit for him,
such
Linking Words
 as remembering the flavour of traditional
foods
Use synonyms
. If
people
Use synonyms
 want to stay healthy, consuming their traditional
foods
Use synonyms
 can be helpful.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in the past, if
people
Use synonyms
 wanted to buy food from other countries, they had to go overseas, so it would not be a cost-effective thing. Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have a big opportunity to buy imported
foods
Use synonyms
 from the
supermarket
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, technology has been growing rapidly, so a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 have started YouTube channels related to cooking.
Therefore
Linking Words
, YouTubers want some special ingredients to cook the different
foods
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they are cooking. They can buy those from the supermarkets.
Thus
Linking Words
, their social media income can be increased. In conclusion, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 have a lot of opportunities with
this
Linking Words
 so that they can consume a wide range of
foods
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 live in other countries ,they have the availability of
foods
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part. Start each part with one clear point, then explain it, then give one example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words with care. Some links are good, but a few ideas do not join in a smooth way.
task achievement
Give more direct reasons for why this is positive. Some ideas are useful, but they need deeper support.
task achievement
Keep examples close to the main topic. The YouTube example is interesting, but it is not the best proof for all consumers.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You answer the question and give a clear opinion that this is a positive development.
task achievement
You use examples to support your ideas, and this helps your answer.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: