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Band 6.5

The graph below shows how people in USA spent their free time between 1980 and 2010

The graph below shows how people in USA spent their free time between 1980 and 2010
#people #usa #time
The following line graph provides information about how American people used to spend their
time
 from
1980
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the 1980
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 year to
2010
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the 2010
show examples
 year.
Overall
, at the beginning of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1980 watching TV accounted
about
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for about
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 60% of the most
practiced
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practised
show examples
 activities,
while
 surfing the internet was the lowest
activity
practiced
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practised
show examples
.
Firstly
 both Surfing the internet and Reading were
practiced
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practised
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
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 0% of the American population,
this
 situation changed from 1990 to 2010year,
where
Correct word choice
when
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 they had a
rapidly
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rapid
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increase
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increasing
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,
a
Correct word choice
and a
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similar situation occurred with hiking, in fact, at the beginning of the period just 20% of the population spent their
time
 on
this
activity
,
while
 after about 30 years it became the most popular one. In the far 1980 the majority of Americans used to spend their
time
 watching TV, but
afterwards
Add a comma
,afterwards
show examples
this
 practice had a slow decrease,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
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 it still remained the
second
 most common
activity
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
 nowadays. In
this
 century we can claim that the most
practiced
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practised
show examples
 activities
Correct your spelling
from the
fromthe
Correct your spelling
from the
 American
Correct your spelling
population
populations
populationn
Correct your spelling
population
 in their spare
time
 are hiking, watching TV, reading and surfing the internet,
while
 the less
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
activity
 is going to the theatre
Submitted by marti47.mn on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, activity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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