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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table data below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.

The table data below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.
#data #band #scores #students #language #groups #ielts #test
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The given illustration represents the middle
band
 points in the participants
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 IELTS General Test by people of various language
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in 2010.
Im
Correct your spelling
I'm
In
 general, the table
decribes
Correct your spelling
describes
 scores for all
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
together with
 the
overall
 mark. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen, the total medium
band
 grade of
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
group
 is the highest and occupied 6.7 points.
In addition
,
this
group
 possessed the top
band
 score almost in all
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
show examples
, with only one exception in
reading
Correct article usage
the reading
show examples
 part, where they step back to the Malay
group
. The table data clearly shows that French language candidates are
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
 place with
overall
Add an article
the overall
an overall
show examples
band
 -
6.5
Change preposition
of 6.5
show examples
. Especially they depicted significantly higher results in
Writing
Correct article usage
the Writing
show examples
 part in comparison with Indonesian and Malay groups, covering 6.5
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
. Returning to the details, after French groups with
overall
 6.3 bands
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 Indonesian speaking groups, their
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
highest point in
exam
Add an article
the exam
show examples
 was at the Speaking part and maintained 6.7.
Likewise
, Malay
group
 candidates represented the lowest scores with
overall
Correct article usage
an overall
show examples
band
6.4
Change preposition
of 6.4
show examples
, and
this
 is the highest indicator than in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 participants
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in
Reading
Add an article
the Reading
show examples
 section.
Submitted by klysh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words band, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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