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Writing Samples
Band 4

The flow chart illustrates the consequences of deforestation. Summarise the informatiom by selecting and reporting the main features.

The flow chart illustrates the consequences of deforestation. Summarise the informatiom by selecting and reporting the main features.
#flow #consequences #deforestation #summarise #informatiom #features
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This
Linking Words
 flowchart depicts the outcome of
clear cutting
Add a hyphen
clear-cutting
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 of
forest
Correct article usage
the forest
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.
This
Linking Words
 can divide
to
Change preposition
into
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 four
result
Change to a plural noun
results
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 of deforestation
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two
mainly
Change the word
main
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 effect
catastrophes
Add a missing verb
are catastrophes
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. Compression of the soil, by using heavy logging equipment, can affect them
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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harder and baked.
This
Linking Words
 action can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
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flooding when rainwater runs off. It
also
Linking Words
 has fewer roots
hold
Fix the infinitive
to hold
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 the top land in place;
as a result
Linking Words
,
top
Correct article usage
the top
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 clay is eroded. Logging can increase
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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 of burning by deliberation or accident;
consequently
Linking Words
, waste wood from logging on waste lost and micro-organisms feeding on waste lost. Returning less moisture to
air
Add an article
the air
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 by
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
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 reduces precipitation and increased drought. Because of less holding the soil, burning, and less returning water to air, pioneer species will move in and degraded vegetation affect less biodiversity
The deforestation
Correct article usage
Deforestation
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 by cutting logs can cause disasters. It affects
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way that we cannot see.
However
Linking Words
, if we do not want
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disasters we should look after the forest.
Submitted by tongmek158 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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