IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

he charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

he charts below show each grade level’s activity and the total revenue gained from it, by percentage, from King Primary School’s recent fundraising event. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#show #grade #level’s #activity #revenue #percentage #school’s #event #information #features #comparisons
The first
grade
 earned the most
prportion
Correct your spelling
portion
 of the money through dance contests
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
, they gained in
eaxact
Correct your spelling
exact
 23.7%. whare, the
second
grade
 came
secondly
Change the word
second
show examples
 by 20.9% through
participting
Correct your spelling
participating
participation
 in
cake
Correct article usage
a cake
show examples
 decorating contest. The fifth
grade
 earned 18.3% , they took part in
cookie
Correct article usage
a cookie
show examples
 sale activity
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the sixth
grade
 earned 15.5% in
soccer
Correct article usage
a soccer
show examples
 skill contest . in
contrat
Correct your spelling
contrast
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
fourth
garde
Correct your spelling
grade
 and the
third
grade
 ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
came in least earning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
money by 13.9% and 7.8% respectively.
it is clear that
 book
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 and art
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 were the least activities for earning money among all of the activities.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words grade with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: